I picked up my phone. I pulled up his contact.
Then I locked the screen.
I got up, took my suitcase, and walked down the driveway.
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No one stopped me.
I didn’t turn my phone on that night.
At the corner, I called a cab.
The driver asked, “Where to?”
I said, “Anywhere cheap.”
He took me to a motel 10 minutes away.
I sat there in my blue dress with the gift bag on the chair and felt more tired than I had in years.
I didn’t turn my phone on that night.
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Mom where are you?
Not when I washed my face.
Not when I lay down without changing.
Not when I woke up at three in the morning with my heart pounding.
I turned it on the next morning.
Twenty-seven missed calls.
A pile of texts.
I stared at that for a long time.
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Mom where are you?
Please answer.
Mom please.
Then one came through that made my chest tighten.
Mom, please answer. It was for you.
I stared at that for a long time.
Then another.
I read the texts again.
Linda was hanging the banner. The kids were hiding in the den. Emma saw you leave from the window and now she won’t stop crying. Please, Mom. Please come back.
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My throat closed.
I read the texts again.
I wasn’t sending you away. I just wanted everything ready. I wanted it to be perfect.
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